


One Truth, Too Many Lies

by muchiara



Category: Glee
Genre: Car Accidents, Dark Blaine Anderson, Lies, M/M, Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Physical Disability, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21536899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muchiara/pseuds/muchiara
Summary: Ever since Blaine met Kurt at the grand staircase, he had known that he would do whatever it took to make Kurt his. Luckily, he got to marry his one true love three years ago, just two years after the huge accident that put Kurt in a wheelchair and isolated him in Blaine's perfect walls of lies; not knowing about the world and the world not knowing about him.In Blaine's defense, though, what Kurt doesn't know can't hurt him... Right?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53





	1. Blaine's Perfect Li(f)e

A soft, muted melody welcomes Blaine when he enters the house that has been his and Kurt’s home for the last four years. The light peeking from under Kurt’s studio’s door confirms that his husband is in there, either painting or sketching clothes. Having not seen Kurt for more than twelve hours, Blaine eagerly opens the door only to smile fondly as he finds Kurt is asleep on the recliner with a sketchbook in his lap. There is a painting that Blaine has never seen on the easel near Kurt; Kurt must have finished it today. He slowly approaches the speaker to turn it off, careful not to make any noise or bump into the easels.

“Blaine?” Kurt opens his eyes as soon as the music stops. “You’re home.”

“Sorry I woke you up, baby,” Blaine brushes up Kurt’s hair that fell to his forehead, nearly cooing when Kurt closes his eyes and smiles in bliss, welcoming his touch. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Have you had dinner?” at Blaine’s shake of the head, Kurt smiles. “Lucky for you, I’ve cooked your favorite chickpea, vegetable, and pesto soup. It’s still on the stove.”

“Thank you,” Blaine kisses Kurt’s forehead. “I’ll reheat it and eat it after I get you to bed.”

“I haven’t eaten either.”

“Kurt…” Blaine frowns and sighs, brushing his fingers on Kurt’s cheek, warm from sleep. “How many times have I told you that you have to eat on time so you can drink your medicine on time?”

“I was waiting…”

“And how many times have I asked you not to wait for me?”

“But I want to eat with you,” Kurt pouts adorably, melting Blaine’s upset away. “Eating alone isn’t fun.”

“Kurt…”

“We can keep bickering for half an hour and I win this argument, as I always do, or we can just skip to me winning and we go to eat now, so I can get my medicine sooner?”

Blaine tries to be stern with his husband; Kurt’s health should always be prioritized and he doesn’t want to see a sick Kurt in bed again, too weak to even lift his finger, but seeing Kurt’s smug expression, Blaine can’t hold his glare for too long. He chuckles in defeat.

“Fine,” Blaine relents, telling himself that he should talk to Dr. Howell tomorrow to adapt Kurt’s treatment if he keeps having late supper. “But you go to bed right away, no sketching or reading books first. And tomorrow, we have breakfast in bed and I’m in charge of cooking.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Kurt replies while saluting cheekily.

Blaine pecks Kurt’s lips once before settling Kurt in his wheelchair and pushing it to the kitchen. After Kurt’s wheelchair is parked behind the counter, Blaine moves around to turn on the stove where the pot of soup is perched and prepares the cutlery for them.

“How was your day?” Blaine asks Kurt after he has poured the soup into their bowls.

“I should be the one asking that,” Kurt teases with a hint of bitterness that always haunts his voice if they accidentally brush Kurt’s condition; he by perforce is trapped in his wheelchair, in their house, and thus his life is nowhere near exciting. And as always, Blaine pretends not to notice.

“I’m sure your day was much more productive than mine,” Blaine says instead. “I only sat in my office to read and sign on stacks after stacks of paper, and after I was finished with them,” Blaine leans in as if he is about to tell Kurt something scandalous, “My secretary came with even more paper to sign.”

Blaine grins when Kurt chuckles at his lame joke, “Aw, my poor husband worked so hard today.”

“That’s why as soon as I get home, I want to be entertained by listening to how my beautiful, perfect husband, spent his time today.”

“Wait, you have another husband beside me?”

“You know I’m referring to you,” Blaine tilts his head adoringly.

“But I’m not per…”

“Shut up, you’re perfect for me,” cuts Blaine. “And you’re deflecting. Come on, just tell me what you did today.”

Kurt clears his throat, “Well, I finished a painting today...”

“That’s wonderful! Are you ready to sell it? I met one of Bel Hanson’s fans last week and she asked when you were going to hold another exhibition.”

Bel Hanson is Kurt’s pen name as a painter: Bel from his parents’ names, Burt and Elizabeth; and Hanson from their surnames combined, Hummel and Anderson. Several months into their marriage, Kurt felt guilty because Blaine was the only person having income in their relationship and he knew his treatment cost a huge sum of money. Despite Blaine insisting that he made enough money for them to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, Kurt wanted to do something.

Due to his condition, Kurt couldn’t go outside very often, so he needed to work from home and to meet as few people as possible. Fortunately, one of Blaine’s clients saw Kurt’s painting hung in his office and he was interested to buy it. This prompted Blaine to propose the idea of having an art exhibition. Kurt was hesitant at first because he just painted to fill his time and he didn’t even have a degree in art, but after receiving a good review from an art critic on his painting, Kurt agreed to go along with Blaine’s suggestion. He couldn’t go outside though, so he decided to hide behind the penname and create a mysterious persona.

The first showcase was such a huge success, with a lot of media coverage, and Kurt made a lot of money, more than he could imagine. He had had three more exhibitions after that, and each of them was more successful than the one before.

Kurt shakes his head, “It’s not for sale. I want you to hang it in your office, and don’t sell it no matter how high the offer is,” Kurt says, pointing his spoon at Blaine warningly.

“Not even for a million dollars?”

“My painting doesn’t cost that much, but yes, not even for that much money.”

Blaine nods obediently, “Okay. I’m going to display it in my room and brag to everyone that I have an exclusive painting of Bel Hanson. Everyone in my office will be soooo jealous.”

Kurt chuckles at his husband’s silliness before coughing uncomfortably.

“Honey, are you okay?” Blaine holds Kurt’s hand in concern. “Do I need to call Dr. Howell?”

“I’m fine, just a bit tired,” he grimaces.

Blaine glances at Kurt’s half-eaten soup, deeming it should be enough for Kurt to have his medicine. He carries Kurt to their bedroom, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Wait, my wheelchair is over there.”

“It’s faster this way.”

“You just want to manhandle me,” Kurt accuses playfully.

Blaine leans down to kiss his forehead, “You read my mind.”

After Kurt is laid on their bed, Blaine hands Kurt his numerous pills, helping him to drink it one by one.

“Feeling better?” Blaine brushes Kurt’s hair lovingly. Kurt nods, his eyelids slowly drooping. “Have a nice dream, dear.” He kisses Kurt, “I love you.”

Kurt mumbles, “I love you too,” before falling asleep.

After making sure Kurt is comfortably bundled in blankets, Blaine returns to the kitchen to wash the dishes. His phone suddenly chirps signaling a message; a notification that an amount of money from his fake account has been successfully transferred to Kurt’s for the painting he “sold” last week. Blaine turns around and leans on the doorway of Kurt’s studio, admiring Kurt’s new painting that will join the rest of his kind on Blaine’s office wall. He decides to hang it next to Kurt’s star painting; they will look good together.

Despite being praised by the critics (that Blaine bribes) for his style, not many people are interested in collecting paintings from a new artist. It would take years for Kurt to build a loyal fanbase who would be willing to spend thousands of dollars to put their hands on his paintings and knowing Kurt, he would give up and stress over his disability again. So Blaine decides to buy some of his unsold paintings with a high price, no, a low price, really, since it makes Kurt relieved and free from guilt.

Blaine texts Kurt’s personal doctor that he’s hired, doctor Howell, asking him to reduce the drugs, remembering that Kurt seemed like he was in pain during dinner tonight. Blaine doesn’t want a repeat of Kurt nearing overdosed several years ago when Blaine had to increase the dosage since Kurt kept bugging him about wanting to go to Mercedes’s debut showcase. Besides, Kurt has been good and hasn’t asked to go outside lately so he doesn’t have to be drugged as much as before. Carl confirms that he’ll come by tomorrow and tells Kurt what Blaine instructed him to, like always, because he’s paid to do whatever Blaine tells him to. He has no choice but to be loyal to Blaine, his only paying client; after all, no one would hire a doctor whose license has been revoked for accepting bribes. Blaine smiles in satisfaction, daydreaming about what they can do now that Kurt won’t be as weak and sickly as usual.

Walking to the bedroom, Blaine sings the song he and Kurt danced to on their wedding day.

_And just for this moment_

_As long as you’re mine_

_I’ve lost all resistance_

_And crossed some borderline_

Blaine crawls into bed, positioning himself next to Kurt, watching his angel sleeping in peace, not knowing anything that Blaine has done to make Kurt stay beside him; not knowing that he is sleeping next to a devil that has ruined his life. But they say ignorance is bliss, and Blaine will do whatever it takes to make sure Kurt always lives blissfully.

_It’s just, for the first time, I feel wicked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is "As Long as You're Mine" from Wicked.  
> I know this song is actually very romantic, but I want Blaine to use this song in a possessive way.
> 
> Eek, I'm so nervous because this is my very first published work! I have so many wild ideas to go with this story and I hope I can convey what is in my mind clearly.
> 
> This fic is completely AU and Blaine is going to have so many lies and secrets (even so much worse than drugging Kurt), he basically has a cemetery in his closet. I hope you enjoy it (:


	2. A Lying Mercedes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, how long has it been?  
> I'm so sorry for the super late update, I didn't know my life would turn crazy right after I uploaded the first chapter!  
> I added some changes to the first chapter, since I thought I needed to clarify some things to make the story run more smoothly in the future, so if you have time, you may want to re-read this from the beginning. I have actually written the overall plot, but since there were some things that didn't fit well, I had to edit and keep re-editing until I'm satisfied. I hope you will be as satisfied as I am!

For the past couple of weeks, the internet has been abuzz, welcoming Mercedes Jones’ highly anticipated upcoming tour and so is Kurt, who is practically glued to his laptop, religiously checking out the update of the concert dates every an hour or so. He is hoping that Mercedes will hold one of her concerts somewhere near their house in Salem, Oregon.

Kurt sighs, glaring at his legs that he can’t even feel. The huge accident that happened five years ago caused this. It also put Kurt in a coma and no one expected he would wake up.

Despite Blaine’s parents and friends advising that he should let Kurt go, he decided to move Kurt from Michigan where the accident happened, to his personal villa in Salem instead, to be far away from Ohio, New York, and anything that could remind him of the pain of nearly losing Kurt and to take care of Kurt’s still body, loyally sitting by his side. Blaine told everyone who looked at him with pity, that if Kurt had to go, he had to leave on his own, not because Blaine pulled the plug. However, defying every doctor that regretfully shook his head at him, Kurt finally opened his eyes nearly a year later. The days after that were not easy, but after another near-death experience in which Kurt went back in a coma for several days, they decided to get married. Blaine still couldn’t believe that three years after, Kurt was still by his side, loving Blaine and allowing him to love Kurt back.

Back to Mercedes’s tour, at first, Blaine was worried that Kurt would want to go to one of her concerts and Blaine would have to increase his dosage again, and Blaine didn’t want to do that when Kurt had been doing so well. However, he fortunately only asked Blaine to go to the opening concert in LA in his place, to which Blaine agreed in relief. _Anything for his husband_.

When Blaine arrives home that afternoon, he finds Kurt lounging in the living room, skimming Vogue with half interest while talking to Mercedes on the phone.

“Honey, I’m home,” Blaine announces with a wide smile.

“You’re home early!” Kurt exclaims in surprise, giving Blaine a welcome kiss and hug before tugging him to sit. “Good timing. I’m talking to Mercedes about her tour.”

“Hello, Mercedes,” Blaine greets after making himself comfortable next to Kurt, “Congratulations on the tour.”

“Hey, Blaine! Thank you, thank you. Kurt said you’re coming to my concert?”

“Yes, Kurt isn’t strong enough to make it,” Blaine comfortingly rubs Kurt’s arm, making his husband smile in gratitude, “So I’ll go to cheer you instead. I hope you’re not too disappointed meeting a substitute.”

“I prefer Kurt’s fabulousness, but fine, your mediocrity will do,” Kurt and Blaine chuckle at that, “You’ll have to get me two bouquets, though, one from you and one from Kurt. I want them _big_ , with lots and lots of red roses because they’re my favorite.”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate for my husband to send another woman a bouquet of red roses, let alone two,” Kurt teases.

“Oh, hush, white boy. We both know that you landed him just because you met him first. If I were the one who went to spy on the Warblers and stopped Blaine at the staircase, he would fall in love with me.”

“I totally would,” Blaine grins at Kurt who playfully gasps in indignation.

“See?” even from miles away, Kurt and Blaine can hear her raising her eyebrow smugly.

“She’s a woman, Blaine!” Kurt protests with dimples on his cheek.

“So? My beauty transcends all sexualities.”

“It really does,” Blaine told the phone before stage-whispering at Kurt, “I’m joking, babe. Even if I met Mercedes first I would still fall in love with you because I’ve always been destined to do that.”

Kurt stares at Blaine as if in disbelief that he has said something as beautiful – and yes, cheesy – as that. “You sap.” Kurt starts to giggle but then stops because suddenly Blaine’s lips are on his again, swallowing his laughter.

“You two are aware that your phone is still on speaker and I can hear all the wet and dirty noises you are making, right?” Mercedes’s voice interrupts them, making them separate with a soft “pop” noise.

“Sorry, boo.”

“No, you’re not,” Mercedes laughs, “And I don’t want your sorry, I want my inappropriate roses!”

“Fine,” Blaine says, “I’ll order two bouquets so big you won’t be able to fit them through doors, with roses so many it’ll take a garden of them to make one bouquet.”

“Now we’re talking.”

“By the way, did Skylar like the shoes I sent her?” Kurt asks.

“You talked to Skylar again?” Blaine tries to ask casually. He never liked it when Mercedes made Kurt talk to Skylar, Mercedes’s daughter. The conversation always ended with Kurt buying something for her and occasionally her mother as well. Blaine didn’t care about the money, he had too much of it and he knew Kurt liked shopping a lot, but it was aggravating to know that the woman had been shamelessly using Kurt and his kind heart.

“Skylar told me that she wanted a new pair of ballet shoes. I still don’t understand why Mercedes and Sam refused to buy her the shoes...”

“Her shoes are still fine!” Mercedes complains, but Blaine can hear it sounds fake.

“...so I sent her the shoes, along with a new ballet dress and a new bag to put everything in.”

Mercedes pretends to scold Kurt who laughs at her fickle attempt to make him stop spoiling her daughter.

“I have something else for you,” Kurt says excitedly, completely unaware of Blaine’s stiffened posture.

“You shouldn’t have Kurt! I know you make serious coins with your painting business, Lord knows how many people get green with jealousy when they see one of your paintings in my living room, by the way, but you don’t have to give me anything else.”

“But it’s something you won’t be able to buy with money,” Kurt smiles, flipping through the pages of his sketchbook to stop at one showing a beautiful emerald dress that undoubtedly will look gorgeous on Mercedes. “I designed a dress for you, and I hope, well, if you ever get bored with your sponsored dresses from famous designers or if you don’t have anything else to wear, I hope you’ll wear it.”

“Boo,” Mercedes chokes, “Of course I’ll wear it. Just give me the design so I can pass it to my stylist, and I’ll make sure to wear it as soon as she finishes with the dress.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you, boy.” Kurt smiles sadly at that. Even though he’s no longer a boy, he really likes it when Mercedes calls him with that nickname because it’s one of the things that the accident didn’t change and he hangs on to every single one of them. “You keep giving me precious things and meanwhile I only gave you my signed albums that are available online.”

“That have become my treasure,” Kurt admonishes. “I thought you’ve stopped underestimating the power of your voice. Listening to your songs gives me the power that I really need on bad days. Your voice is one of the things that make me smile every day.”

“You feel that way about my songs?”

“Of course, I do,” Kurt starts to tear up, remembering how far Mercedes has come and how happy he is for her to see her dreams coming true one by one, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you too,” Mercedes says gently, sensing that Kurt is starting to feel small compared to her, “You keep getting up no matter how hard life tries to beat you down. And despite every bad thing that has happened to you, you’re still the kindest, the most passionate person I’ve ever known.”

Blaine who has been silently listening reaches out to wipe Kurt’s tears away and pull his husband in an embrace. He’s really thankful for Mercedes for saying what Kurt needs to hear. Blaine himself has told Kurt the same thing so many times, assuring Kurt that everything in him that he sees as his flaws is nothing but perfection in Blaine’s eyes, but Kurt still needs a reminder about how amazing he is from someone who is not his husband sometimes.

“Thank you, Mercedes,” Kurt breathes out, “I really needed that.”

“You don’t have to thank me for stating the truth, Kurt.”

Kurt lays his head on Blaine’s shoulder, sighing happily, “I can’t wait to finally see you in person.”

Blaine frowns, wondering why Kurt suddenly changed his mind about going to the concert, “Honey, we’ve talked about this…”

“Oh no, we haven’t,” Kurt grins, making Blaine smile in question, “Mercedes just added a new concert this morning and guess where she’s having it?”

 _Shit._ Blaine was so busy this morning, hurrying through everything to make sure that he could be home early to join – okay, _monitor_ – Mercedes and Kurt’s conversation, so he didn’t have time to check the internet. “Where?” Blaine asks, carefully masking his dread and worry, praying that the new location wouldn’t be too close to their home.

“Portland!” Kurt gushes happily, not noticing Blaine’s face falls at that. “We’ll only be an hour away from her and I made her promise that she’ll come to visit us when she finishes performing. Oh and you don’t have to go to the one in LA, just go to the one in Portland, and she can come with you after the concert so she doesn’t have to ask anyone to drive her here!”

Blaine plasters a smile when Kurt turns his face at him, hoping Kurt won’t detect how fake it is, covering the anger that begins to rise inside him, “Really?” he said through gritted teeth, “That’s good news, Mercedes.”

“Good news? It’s wonderful news, Blaine! We’re finally going to have a visitor in our house after all these years!”

“We’ve had visitors before,” Blaine reminds him, a bit irritated.

“Dr. Howell and your family are not counted,” Kurt pouts adorably, nearly making Blaine’s fear goes away, before chattering about what he is planning to do before and when Mercedes gets here.

In all four years of their lives in Salem, they don’t receive visitors nor go out that much due to Kurt’s health. It also doesn’t help that they live in a big villa up in a hill, with the closest neighbor a mile or ten away from them, since Dr. Howell and Blaine insist that the fresh air and the peaceful surrounding are good for Kurt. The only people who have set their feet in the Anderson-Hummel’s house are Blaine’s family, Dr. Howell, and their employees like their housekeepers or Kurt’s occasionally needed private nurses. Blaine has come to consider their house as their private, sacred sanctuary, with only a few chosen people allowed to enter and stay for a limited amount of time. And a friend whom they keep in contact with through phone only is definitely not counted.

Blaine is still pretending to supportively listen to what his husband is planning when some noises are coming from Mercedes’s line, “Honey, that’s my manager. I have to go now, but I’m going to call you later to talk about the visit, okay?”

“Oh, okay,” Kurt sounds a bit disappointed but he cheers up again at the mention of her visit. “ _See_ you later, boo.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too!”

Kurt ends the call and puts his phone on the table before turning to Blaine to spout his plans to welcome Mercedes’s stay. Blaine nods and smiles when he needs to, but inside his head, he is seething with rage and fear. He’ll have to slip a sleeping pill tonight so he can talk to, and preferably shout at “Mercedes” comfortably.

* * *

“Ariana Jones,” Blaine growls to his phone as a greeting, “What the hell?! Why the fuck did you promise Kurt that you’re coming here? We both know that can never happen.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Ariana sounds like she’s close to tears, “He was so excited about the concert and without realizing it I started agreeing with him.”

“And now you’re blaming my husband?”

“No!” Ariana half-shouts desperately, “I mean, I didn’t know that there would be a concert in Portland so when he brought it up, I panicked and said yes.”

“How could you not know it? It’s your damn job to know everything about _it_ , for fuck’s sake!” Blaine snaps incredulously before lowering his voice, “You have one. Single. Job,” he hisses, “That is to pretend to be Mercedes. You just need to talk, and listen to Kurt, and make him feel less lonely when I’m not home. That’s it. No promises. No visits. And you can’t even do that without screwing it up?!”

“I, look, I’m sorry, I’ll tell him that I won’t be able to make it.”

“Then he’ll be disappointed and upset with you. And who’s going to deal with that? ME!”

“Um, you can make him sick and put him to sleep when I visit, so he doesn’t have to meet me.”

“No way, he has been better these days, and I don’t want him to suffer just because of _your_ mistake.”

“What do you want me to do then?” Ariana demands, starting to get irritated.

“Watch your tone, Jones. Remember who’s been paying your paychecks for the last four years. Do you want to go back living on the streets and whoring yourself again? If you do, I’d be gladly to fire your sorry ass.”

“You can’t do that!” Blaine scoffs. “I will tell Kurt everything you’ve done, that I’m not Mercedes Jones and you’ve been paying me to pretend to be her. I’m sure he will leave _your_ sorry ass.”

Blaine gets silent. Ariana feels a little satisfaction, knowing that she has the upper hand until Blaine speaks in a threatening tone, “Do you want to say goodbye to your daughter?”

Ariana gasps, “You wouldn’t dare...”

“Oh, I would,” Blaine lets out an evil laugh. “I’ve shed so much blood to keep Kurt safe, there wouldn’t be any difference to have one more person on my list.”

Ariana whimpers, realizing that she has lost. “I’m sorry, Mr. Anderson.” When Blaine doesn’t say anything else, she speaks in a small, scared voice, “Please allow me to keep this job.”

Blaine threatens in a cold voice, “Then fix your fucking mistake.”

The woman sobs in relief.

“And for fuck’s sake stop making your annoying brat mooch off of Kurt again.”

Blaine sighs in frustration, wiping his face with one hand and letting the back of his head fall to the wall behind him. He has known from the start that he shouldn’t have trusted a woman who got knocked up by a guy who paid her for sex and had to drop out of high school because of it. But out of the people his assistant could find, she was the only person who sounded similar to Mercedes and also had a daughter who was Skylar’s age. Moreover, she was willing to do anything to keep provide a better life for her daughter.

Clearly, she no longer is the hardworking, responsible girl he met a couple of years ago, with the way she’s been acting lately, sneakily asking Kurt to send her expensive stuff for her and her daughter when Blaine is at the office. Blaine was irritated because she was crossing a line, but Kurt looked so happy when he picked out presents for her daughter and after that Kurt kept sending her presents even when she didn’t ask, so he let it go. But now, she is making a grave mistake that even Blaine doesn’t know how to solve.

“Yes, Mr. Anderson?” his assistant answers on the first ring.

“Find a replacement for Ariana Jones. After you find a new Mercedes, get rid of that bitch and her daughter.”

“Will do, Mr. Anderson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, so Mercedes isn't really Mercedes!  
> I wonder what else is unreal in Kurt's life...?


	3. The Aftermath

_I’ve told Kurt that I won’t be able to come to your house. I’m sorry. Please, don’t make me_ _stop_ _talking to Kurt._ Ariana has texted Blaine.

Blaine simply reminds his assistant about her replacement before deleting the message as he stops by at his favorite bakery to get a box of cheesecake for Kurt before going home, hoping it can cheer his husband up a little bit since he knows Kurt would be in a sour mood after that message. After getting Kurt’s favorite cheesecake, he texts Kurt, letting his husband know that he’s coming home early, but Kurt doesn’t reply. Blaine doesn’t think much of it because Kurt takes naps in the afternoon sometimes. When he arrives at the front door of their house, though, he notices something is wrong.

Their house is silent, which is strange because Kurt always plays some music or turns the TV on since he hates total silence. What’s more alarming is the fact that the living room is in disarray: cushions spread all over the room, picture frames scattered and broken, and the worst of all is that Kurt’s wheelchair is toppled, next to broken pieces of a flower vase. With blood flecks on the floor.

“KURT!” Blaine runs into the house, frantically opening door by door, entering room by room to look for his husband. “Kurt! Kurt! Damn it.” The other rooms in the house are not messy, as if untouched by whoever did this to the living room, and, Blaine realizes with a sinking feeling in his stomach, to Kurt.

After checking all the rooms and there’s still no sign of Kurt, Blaine finds it hard to breathe and to see; he can feel a lump choking him and tears blurring his eyes. Once again he looks around the cluttered living room to try to figure out what has actually happened here. Kurt must’ve been alone and then someone, or probably more people, came and took him away.

Blaine curses at his decision for not hiring security guards. He thought the fewer people involved in his and Kurt’s personal lives, the better his secret could be kept. And really, who would come and attack their house anyway, when only a few people know that Blaine lives here instead of an empty apartment nearby the office. This house was also built so far away from everything that no one would accidentally stumble upon the place unless they had specifically intended to come there. Which clearly looks like the case, considering their burglar alarm didn’t signal Blaine anything. Whoever did this is a professional.

_Who could do this though? Who could know that Blaine actually lives here and knows that by getting Kurt they could also get to Blaine?_

Trying to blink away his frustration tears, Blaine tried to call Kurt. He expected his call would go unanswered, so he felt his breath was punched out of his long when a faint whisper answers, “Bee?”

“Kurt,” Blaine chokes. “Kurt, baby, are you okay? W-what... Where...” Blaine can’t decide which question he should ask first. “Kurt...”

“I’m cold.”

Blaine takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself down. Kurt needs him. He has to be strong. “Do you know where you are?” Kurt doesn’t answer, but there’s a rustling noise, so he must have either nodded or shaken his head. Blaine tries again, “Do you know where...?”

“Under the tree.”

Blaine frowns in confusion. Kurt must be delirious because that doesn’t make sense. What does he mean with that phrase? Under the tree? What tree...?

Blaine snaps his head up to look at the backyard, remembering a big oak tree that has been there ever since the house was built. Kurt really likes the tree and he always talks about wanting to build a swing there, or sometimes a treehouse when he’s in an adventurous mood. He slides the glass door and runs out, noticing a white sheet behind the trunk that must be Kurt. Hopefully.

When Blaine finds those bright blue eyes peeking out of the thick comforter to look up at him, Blaine fell to his knees and gathered Kurt in his arms.

“Kurt,” Blaine sobs, burying his face in the comforter, feeling it’s cold to the skin. He raises his hands to cup Kurt’s similarly cold cheeks. “Fuck, Kurt, I thought you were... Oh my... Are you okay? What are you doing out here? Wait, let me get you inside first.”

Gingerly, he scoops his husband from the ground. As they reach inside of the house, Blaine kicks the sliding door shut and hurriedly but carefully brings Kurt to their bedroom. After Kurt is laid down on their bed, he frantically looks for more comforters to make Kurt warm.

“I’m going to call Dr. Howell, okay?” Kurt doesn’t respond, Blaine just hurries out of the door and calls Carl who instructs Blaine to do some first-aid treatment and promises to get to the house in an hour. Noticing the state of their living room, Blaine also calls Maria, their housekeeper, to come as he fetches the first-aid kit.

Blaine squeezes some warm compresses and when they’re warm enough, he slips them on Kurt’s neck, chest, and groin. When he sees a fleck of dried blood on the comforter, Blaine also remembers that he saw blood on the living room floor.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Blaine asks. Kurt just raises his left hand in return.

The cut seems to have closed, so Blaine just cleans it and wraps his hand in a bandage. After fussing over Kurt some more, making sure he’s bundled from head to toe apart from his face, Blaine exhales in relief and kneels down beside the bed. That’s when he notices that Kurt hasn’t moved or said anything apart from following his movements with his eyes.

“Dr. Howell is coming in an hour and Maria is also coming to clean the living room. I’m going to make some hot chocolate for you while we wait for them and then we can talk some more, okay?”

Kurt still doesn’t say anything, but Blaine thinks he hears Kurt sigh when he kisses his forehead. When Blaine returns with a tray filled with a thermos and a mug, he finds Kurt has closed his eyes but he opens them when he hears Blaine’s steps. Blaine sets down the tray on the bedside table.

“Do you want some hot chocolate?”

Kurt just blinks.

“Did you... Were you the one who did that to our living room?”

Still no answer, but Kurt’s guilty expression is telling the truth.

“Are you mad at me?”

A beat, but then Kurt shakes his head.

“What happened then?” Blaine asks in a desperate voice.

“I was angry,” Kurt finally answers, making Blaine’s tense shoulders relax. “But not with you. I was angry with myself.”

Blaine frowns, “Why?”

Kurt opens his mouth but then closes it. He just sighs, “By the way, Mercedes canceled on me. She said she would be too tired after the concert.”

“Oh, baby,” Blaine climbs into the bed and lays next to Kurt, cradling Kurt’s head into his chest. He should have known that Kurt would react badly to the news. After years of no contact with his best friend and finally having a hope to see her, to have that hope crushed must have been devastating for Kurt. _That dumb bitch_. Blaine will make sure she’ll pay for this. “I’m so sorry. Do you want me to talk to her? Ask her to visit you just for a few hours?”

To Blaine’s relief, he shakes his head, “No, that’s okay. I understand that she’s busy. I mean, I can’t expect her to leave her crazy schedule just to see me when our house is practically in Neverland.”

Blaine feels his chest becomes wet when Kurt silently drops a tear, mumbling, “Why would she want to visit an invalid anyway?”

“Hey, don’t talk about yourself like that,” Blaine scolds gently.

“But it’s true!” Kurt yells, pulling away from Blaine and sitting up. “Just look at her! She has released three albums, she has won so many awards, she’s now going on a national tour, and she has a beautiful daughter...” he cries, covering his face with his hands, “And what about me? I’m bound to that stupid wheelchair, I’m too weak to go outside, I can’t sing a song without coughing towards the end, I can’t even reach the bathroom cabinet without your help!”

Blaine’s heart clenches in pain. He reaches out to pull Kurt’s hands off of his face and wipe his tears away, “Kurt, how many times do I have to tell you that you’re amazing? You’re as amazing as Mercedes. I know that you never dreamed to be a painter, but you are a successful artist now. Even though you have lost so many things in your lives, you have never stopped giving. And hey, you’re also married before you’re 30. Legally!” Blaine nudges Kurt playfully, but he is disappointed when Kurt doesn’t smile at that.

After a few seconds of silence, Kurt lifts his head and stares at Blaine, “Why did you even want to marry me?”

“Because I love you, Kurt.”

“Why?” Kurt whispers. “Surely you can find better men out there. Who can go on dates with you, dance at the galas, have a lot of sex without tiring themselves after just one quick orgasm, having a real family with kids running around the house...”

Kurt looks so small, probably as small as he is feeling right now. Blaine collects him into a hug and Kurt automatically sobs, clenching Blaine’s shirt in his fists. Trying to comfort his husband, Blaine rubs Kurt’s back and drops kisses on his hair. When Kurt’s sobs subside, Blaine tilts his chin up so he can look into Kurt’s eyes, “How long have you been feeling this way?”

“Ever since I woke up from the first coma,” he truthfully answers in a small voice. “I know that I’ve felt better at times, that my life isn’t as bad as it was when I first woke up... Especially after we got married,” Kurt shoots him a tiny smile that Blaine gladly returns. Then Kurt looks down and plucks at the comforter, “But seeing Mercedes out there living her dreams, seeing our friends one by one making the world a better place, seeing _you_ working so hard for so many people... It makes me feel so little.”

“Oh, Kurt...” Blaine hugs Kurt again. “Your work also helps a lot of people. Do you remember Justin? He gave up on being a painter because he can’t use his right hand after being bashed. But after hearing Bel Hanson’s – your – story about coming back from a year-long coma, he returned to his art school and he’s almost graduating now. And Mrs. Rutherford! She thought she couldn’t smile again after losing her son, but she cried happy tears when she saw your ‘Moon and Star’ painting because it reminded her of his star-loving son. And I’m willing to bet that there are more people out there who are inspired by your story and your paintings, so don’t sell yourself short, Kurt.”

Kurt nods against his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“No, you don’t have to feel sorry. It’s my fault. As a husband, I should’ve reminded you every day how amazing you are as a person. I’m sorry for not doing my duty as a husband.”

“No, it’s not! You’re a wonderful husband! Up to this day. I still can’t understand why you wanted to marry me when I had nothing to offer. And even now I still don’t have much...”

“Stop,” Blaine kisses Kurt’s lips, feeling relieved they’re warm to the touch. “See, you wouldn’t be questioning my reasons to marry you if I had been a good husband.” Blaine takes Kurt’s left hand, rubbing his thumb on Kurt’s wedding ring. “I married you because you’re my one, true love. The moment I took this hand at that staircase, I just knew that I’d be sharing the rest of my life with you, that I’d be spending the rest of my life loving you.” Blaine stares into Kurt’s watery eyes, “You’re the love of my life, Kurt. I can live without going to date sites, without dancing at the galas, without having countless orgasms in one night...” Blaine grins when he sees Kurt chuckle shyly at that. “But I can’t live without having you in my life.”

They lovingly stare at each other in silence, each smiling widely and wondering what they had done to be so blessed with a wonderful partner. Kurt leans in to kiss Blaine, hoping to convey all his love and gratitude for this man who has always been loyally by his side. When he lost everything and everyone he truly loved, Blaine was there for him to turn to, providing him a safe place, providing him a _home_.

“I need to breathe,” Kurt pulls back to gulp for air. Blaine touches his forehead to Kurt’s as he waits for Kurt’s breathing to return to normal. “You were wrong about one thing, though.”

Blaine tilts his head in confusion.

“You took my right hand. With yours. And then you ran down the hallways, dragging me behind you. I remember I needed to focus so I wouldn’t trip over your shoes.”

Blaine laughs heartily, feeling relieved that Kurt’s humor returns, meaning he must’ve been feeling a lot better. He opens his mouth to respond, but a knock on their bedroom door stops him.

“It must be dr. Howell,” Blaine gets up, but Kurt pulls his wrist.

“Tell him to leave!”

“Why?” Blaine asks in concern.

“The living room is a mess! I need to clean it up first!” Blaine softly pushes Kurt down when he tries to get up.

“Just lay there and look pretty. I’ve called Maria, she’ll come here later.”

“I’m sorry. I was just... I was really angry.”

“It’s alright,” Blaine smiles. “Just... If you feel that way again, please call me, okay?” Kurt looks so adorable when he nods, so Blaine kisses him again. “I love you.”

Kurt flashes him a blinding smile, “I love you, too.”

* * *

The living room has been cleaned up and now that Blaine has listed things that need to be fixed or replaced, he can lounge on the sofa to take a rest. Kurt has been asleep for a few hours; what happened today really drained his energy. Thankfully Carl has assured him that Kurt will be okay as long as he rests in bed all day tomorrow, which means that Blaine has to take a day off to watch over Kurt.

Blaine has brought up the idea of hiring a live-in nurse again, like the one they had when Kurt was in his first year of recovery, but Kurt glared at him and firmly stated, “I don’t need a babysitter”. He still doesn’t understand why Kurt refuses to have a live-in nurse, considering he hates silence and he’s often bored that he calls Blaine at work sometimes. Not that Blaine minds his husband calls him because Kurt misses him, but sometimes it makes Blaine feel bad when he has to direct Kurt’s calls to his assistant if he has an important meeting to attend.

His phone suddenly chirps, signaling a message. It’s from his assistant: _We have a new Mercedes. We’ve also found a new Skylar and Sam who have agreed to work together._

Blaine sighs in relief. At least there’s one good thing that came out of this mess. _Schedule a meeting tomorrow. And change of plans. Kill the girl and make the bitch watch. Then send her somewhere._

_A mental hospital?_

_Good idea._

Blaine smiles. He likes his assistant because she understands him really well. After all, they have been best friends since high school.

_I'll get right on it, Blaine._

_Thank you, Tina._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is about the concert!  
> We'll finally meet people who aren't Kurt and Blaine...


	4. What Sam and Mercedes Know

With two bouquets of red roses in hands, Blaine is sitting at the lobby of the hotel he is staying at, waiting for Mercedes and her entourage to arrive. It’s an hour after the concert. Blaine didn’t go there; after years of living in serenity with Kurt, he no longer likes loud crowds. But he has hired one of his employees, who happens to be a fan of Mercedes, to go there and report to him about what happened in the concert, so Blaine will be prepared if anyone asks questions about it.

When he sees a commotion outside the hotel, he stands up and pays close attention to the main entrance to see if the ruckus is caused by Mercedes’s arrival.

It is.

There she is, the center of attention, wrapped in a mid-thigh-length silver dress with a pair of sunglasses perched on her head. Behind him, followed a lot of people fussing after her: her manager, her stylist, her makeup artist, her bodyguards, some more people whose responsibilities Blaine can’t figure out, but no Sam in sight. Blaine is guessing Sam is staying in the hotel room with Skylar, their daughter.

He walks over to approach them. Mercedes hasn’t noticed him, but one of her bodyguards does and glares at him, “Excuse me, sir. I’m going to ask you to step back.”

“I just want to talk to her for a few minutes and give her these,” Blaine holds up the roses. The bodyguard narrows his eyes at them in suspicion. “Can you just let her know that Blaine Anderson wants to meet her?”

“I’m sorry, sir, Miss Jones is on a tight schedule and she needs to rest. You can see her tomorrow on the second day of the concert or come...”

“Blaine?” Mercedes peeks over the bodyguard’s shoulder. Her eyes widen when she sees that the guy Steve is talking to is her high school friend. “Blaine Anderson, is that you? Oh my God, Blaine!”

Blaine chuckles when he’s suddenly engulfed in a bear hug, “Hello, Mercedes.”

“Hello?” Mercedes pulls away to glare at him, “We haven’t met in years and you just said ‘ _Hello_ ’?”

“What do you want me to say then?”

“Don’t try to sass with me, Warbler boy. I can...”

“Excuse me, Miss Jones. We’d better move this conversation somewhere else,” Steve nods at the cameras flashing from outside.

Rolling her eyes, Mercedes groans. She can already imagine the crazy headlines for the next gossip articles, paired with pictures of her hugging Blaine.

“Please tell me you’re free tonight. You can’t just show up after missing from the radar and then leave again without a trace.”

“I’ll be free until Monday. I have booked a room here, actually.”

“Good,” Mercedes nods. She gestures Blaine and her staff to follow her, “Now let’s move to my room so Sam and I can scold you. Oh my God, Sam! He would be thrilled to see you. He’s missed you a lot, you know. And Skylar, too! Skylar would be happy now that she can put a face on an Uncle Blaine her father always talks about...”

As he listens to Mercedes listing people who would be happy to see Blaine again, he realizes that he actually misses his friends. Yes, his life with Kurt is perfect, but it comes with a very small social circle for the couple. The only people he can talk to are Tina and maybe Carl. And both of them work for him, so even though he knows Tina and Carl to some extent care about him, it still feels different. However, he doesn’t want to trade all friends in the world for Kurt, so he just lets the feeling roll off his back.

“Mommy is here!” a little girl’s voice welcomes them when they arrive at Mercedes’s suite.

“Mercedes! You wouldn’t believe who Skylar and I met today...” Sam came out of the bathroom but stopped in his track when his eyes fell on Blaine. “Blaine? Is that you?”

“Hi, Sam.”

“Dude!” Sam tackles him into an overly enthusiastic hug. He pulls away to an arm’s length, his hands still gripping Blaine’s shoulders as he inspects Blaine’s face, “It’s really _you_!”

“It’s me... Ow! What was that for?” Blaine rubs the shoulder that Sam lightly punches.

“I haven’t seen or heard from you in years and when you suddenly showed up here, you said, ‘ _Hi, Sam_ ’?”

“You two really deserve each other,” Blaine shakes his head remembering the similar words Mercedes told him downstairs. “What am I supposed to say then?”

“Dude, how have you... Wait, let’s get comfortable first because you’re in for a long interrogation,” Sam leads him to sit on the sofa where Skylar is sitting, watching the newcomer curiously.

“I’m Skylar. Who are you?” the girl asks, offering her hand.

Blaine takes it with an amused grin, “I’m Blaine. I was friends with your parents when we were in high school.”

“This is Uncle Blaine,” Sam tells her.

“He can’t be Uncle Blaine,” Skylar frowns. “He is not wearing a bowtie.”

“What have you guys been telling this kid about me?” Blaine asks, pretending to be scandalized.

“Shut up. You don’t get to protest when you’re not here to clarify the story. The narrative is up to the narrators, that’s me and Mercedes, and we decide that you are a bowtie man.”

“Besides, you wear bowties in every picture we have,” Mercedes adds.

“Hm, fine. Well, I am Uncle Blaine, but I’m not wearing a bowtie today.”

“Sister-in-law, are you asking for me?” a voice after a knock on the door calls out.

“I texted Stacy on the way here,” Mercedes tells Sam who opens the door, revealing a blonde teenager that looks like the girl version of him. “We need you to watch over Skylar for the night.”

“Another date night?” Stacy winks. “Wanky.”

“No, we have a friend coming by,” Sam nods at Blaine who waves at Stacy before looking at her pointedly, “and we need to have an adult conversation.”

“Ew, I don’t need to hear that you’re going to have a threesome! He’s hot, though.”

“Stace, it’s not...”

“Fine, fine, I’ll get myself and Skylar out of your hair. Just don’t forget to tell Mom that I deserve that new scarf for being a responsible teenager while you, Mercedes, and the hotshot over there get to be irresponsible adults. Come, Sky. Let’s paint each other’s nails while those three adults paint each other with something that is not paint.”

“STACY!”

“See you in the morning!” Stacy drags Skylar out of the door and slams the door closed. Her voice can be heard from inside, “Or maybe at noon if you go on several rounds!”

“Was that really Stacy? Your _sister_ , Stacy?” Blaine asks, stunned. The last time he saw her, she was such a sweet, shy, little girl.

“Yeah,” Mercedes sighs, clearly having dealt with her too many times. “She doesn’t want to spend her summer holiday at home, so she’s here. We thought it would be a good idea so she can stay with Skylar if Sam and I need to go to meetings or stuff, but obviously, it’s a mistake.”

“She has changed so much...”

“That’s one way to put it,” Sam snorts. “I swear she is the most dirty-minded teenage girl I’ve ever known. She’s been spending too much time around Santana.”

“Santana?”

“Oh, you don’t know, do you? Stacy goes to McKinley now. She is a Cheerio and Santana is her coach. And you’re also talking to the coach of McKinley Titans.”

“Wow, Sam, congratulations! But what happened to Coach Sylvester and Coach Beiste?”

“Coach Sylvester is trying to go back to politics and Coach Beiste is still recovering from his surgery, so I’m taking his place for now.”

“W-wait... _He_?”

Sam looks at Blaine as if he’s Luke Skywalker and Sam is this wise Jedi, “You’ve missed out a lot, Blaine. Now Coach Beiste is _Sheldon_ Beiste. And when he returns we can have all awesome guy talks that we never even got to do before!”

“You would have known all of that if only you hadn’t just gone from the radar,” Mercedes teases with a slightly accusing tone that makes Blaine smile guiltily.

“What’s with the bouquets, though? Were you on two dates before coming here?”

“Oh, these are for you, Mercedes. One from me, and one from... Um... They’re from _us_.”

Mercedes exchanges a glance with Sam before taking the offered bouquets and putting them in the bathroom sink, “Thank you. I love roses. And that’s just unfortunate because I married someone who doesn’t.”

“Lilies are better than roses! And they’re also more expensive!”

“Stop pointing at me, Sam. You’re reminding me of Cooper,” Mercedes pushes Sam’s arm away.

“How’s Cooper, by the way?”

“I heard he’s doing fine. He’s still going to auditions.”

“You don’t talk to your brother either?”

Blaine shakes his head and sheepishly looks down to twirl the ring on his finger, missing another worried glance exchanged between the couple in front of him.

“Blaine,” Mercedes carefully touches his shoulder. “How have you been?”

“Fine. Busy. I, uh, I’ve been working a lot.”

“I heard you’ve taken over the Anderson International?”

“Yeah. Cooper didn’t want anything to do with the company, so I had to take over.”

“You know, I always thought you would be a musician. Every time I wake up, I always wonder if I would see your name topping the music chart alongside Mercedes’s.”

“I used to think so, too,” Blaine chuckles but his eyes turn sad, “But that was before... You know. Before.”

There was a tense silence where no one would look at each other.

“How long has it been since we last saw you...” Sam tries to break the tension, “Five years?”

“Yeah, it will have been five years this month since the f-funeral.”

 _The funeral_.

Sam vividly remembered it as if it only happened yesterday. Blaine was putting up a strong facade that day, receiving all the hugs and condolences with a brave face, without dropping even a single tear. He did have tears in his eyes when he sang _Somewhere Only We Know_ , when he delivered his speech, when he saw _his_ casket lowered to the ground... But those tears were gone after Blaine blinked and were replaced with another sad smile. Sam thought Blaine would break down later, after everyone left, and he would be there to catch his best friend when he crumbled.

But it wasn’t what happened.

People kept coming and going, but Blaine left at night, with a box of Kurt’s stuff, only leaving a short message behind and didn’t return. Until now.

“Where do you live now?” Sam asks.

“Not too far from here, actually. I live in Oregon. I have an apartment a couple of blocks down from the office. You should come by sometime.”

“Maybe next time. Mercedes’s schedule is packed and we’re here with Skylar and Stacy so if we come, they’ll have to come, too, and we don’t want to intrude you.”

“You won’t be intruding, but I understand, what with the national tour and Fan meetings. You’ve really made it, Mercedes.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Blaine has tears in his eyes as he smiles, “And I know _he_ would be, too.”

Mercedes chokes, “Kurt would be proud of you, too, Blaine.”

“I hope so,” Blaine’s voice cracks. “I wanted him to be.”

Sam notices Blaine is still twirling the ring on his finger, “Is that the ring? That you wanted to give him that night?”

Blaine nods.

“It’s beautiful. He would have loved it.”

“Of course, he would. He designed this.”

As Blaine still focuses on his ring, Sam and Mercedes had a silent conversation with wide eyes above Blaine’s heads. They stared at each other intensely and when Sam blinks, Mercedes nods her head at Blaine while Sam takes a deep breath.

“Why did you leave that night?” Sam reluctantly asks, hoping it won’t scare Blaine away.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have left without a trace like that.”

“We were worried, Blaine,” Mercedes tells him. “We thought that you would try to...” she bites her lips.

“Follow him? He would kill me if I did that,” he laughs, making Sam and Mercedes laugh with him. But his voice starts to waver, “It’s just... It was too much. Everywhere I looked, everything I saw, every person I met, it all reminded me of him. I couldn’t stay any longer in Ohio, I couldn’t go to New York, so I moved to the other side of the country to stay away. I couldn’t see you guys even though I missed you, because...” Blaine has started crying. His voice gets smaller and smaller, “Because if I saw you, I also saw _him_. I saw how he was supposed to be there with us. With _me_. And I couldn’t... I still can’t...”

Blaine has broken down and starts sobbing into his hands. Mercedes and Sam have also silently cried with their friend.

“I’m so sorry, Blaine,” Sam hugs Blaine from one side and Mercedes hugs him from the other.

“I was supposed to propose to him that night... He was supposed to say yes... We were supposed to get married and have kids...”

“I know, I know.”

“I loved him so much. I still do.”

“I know, Blaine.”

The trio cries into each other’s shoulders, finally getting to properly mourn the loss of their friend. It’s been five years since the devastating news, since the funeral, but their sadness is still fresh. They still miss him. They miss _Kurt_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Mercedes have no idea that Kurt is still alive...  
> Blaine, how many lies do you have and how many people have you been lying to?


	5. When Blaine Is Not Home

“We all look like a mess,” Sam comments after they have stopped crying and calmed down enough to wash their faces.

“This is a new jacket,” Blaine laments, “and now it has a snot stain on it.”

“You can just wash it, jeez. My shirt became a pool because you cried all over it and yet you don’t hear me complaining.”

“Because your shirt is cotton. You can just throw it into a washing machine and call it a day. My jacket is suede, it’s dry clean only.”

“You sound a lot like...” Sam stops, his eyes wide.

Blaine just smiles, “You can say his name, you know. I do sound like Kurt.”

“Still...”

“So, apart from working,” Mercedes comes back to the room in sweatpants and a hoodie that suspiciously looks like Sam’s, “What’s keeping you busy? For fun, I mean.”

“Um...”

Blaine stops to think. He actually has a lot of side activities, like gardening and playing the piano. But he can’t say that because his apartment doesn’t have a garden nor a piano. And his hobbies always include Kurt in some ways, so he can’t say the others as well.

“You’ve been working all this time? _Just_ working?” Mercedes asks incredulously.

“Yes?” Blaine says instead.

Mercedes opens her mouth, but behind Blaine Sam is shaking his head, so she closes it again.

“But seriously, I’m fine. I still miss him, of course, but I’ve been better. That’s why I can come here to see you now.”

“We’re glad to hear that. But you’re planning to keep in touch, right? Or are you going to leave again and come back in another five years?” Sam asks teasingly, but Blaine can hear worry in his voice.

Blaine smiles assuringly, “Of course we’ll keep in touch. Here, let me write down my phone number and address, so you can call me and come to visit anytime. Well, not anytime, I have to work and sleep, but you get what I mean.”

“Alright, alright,” Sam grins, raising his hand to give Blaine a high-five which Blaine accepts, smiling.

Mercedes smiles wistfully, looking to her left and feeling her heart clench. She understands what Blaine said about seeing Kurt. If Kurt was alive, Mercedes would turn to him and exchange a fond eye-roll at their husbands’ antics. But he’s not there at Mercedes’s side. Kurt is dead. Sam lost his friend, Mercedes lost her best friend and Blaine lost the love of his life.

...

The next day, Sam and Blaine go to lunch together. Mercedes has left for a Fan meeting event and Skylar is with Stacy who, when asked to watch over her niece again, wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. There were articles on gossip sites, depicting Mercedes cheating on Sam with Blaine as her new beau, but Mercedes’s rep quickly refuted the claim and now those articles have thankfully been taken down.

Blaine is wondering what Kurt would say when he sees the news when Sam asks, “Have you dated anyone?”

“No. I’m too busy for that.”

Sam notices Blaine twirling his ring again. “Are you planning to be celibate?”

To his surprise, Blaine nods.

“Seriously?”

Blaine just shrugs.

“Hm. Who knows? Maybe one day you’ll meet someone who’ll change your mind.”

“There’s no one else for me, Sam.”

“I don’t think Kurt would want that...”

“How do you know he wouldn’t want that?”

Sam sadly looks into Blaine’s fiery eyes, “I know Kurt would want you to be happy.”

“I’m not unhappy.”

“You know, if Kurt was here...”

“Well, he’s not here, is he?” Blaine snaps with tears in his eyes.

They stare at each other in silence. Blaine is shaking with anger while Sam stares back with sadness.

“I’m sorry,” Sam sighs. “It’s just... It’s been years. I thought... I thought all of us had moved on.”

“That’s okay,” Blaine angrily wipes away a tear, “I understand what you’re trying to say. But Sam... Kurt is the love of my life. I think, no, I know, that I can’t love anyone but him. And even if somehow I could, I don’t want to. And I have moved on. I have accepted that he’s no longer here. But I don’t want to fill his place with someone else. And I know he would want me to be happy, and I’ll try to be. I mean, it’s not like I can’t be happy if I stay single.”

Sam isn’t entirely convinced, but he offers Blaine a smile that probably looks like a grimace.

...

“Hey, this may sound weird... But can I ask you two for a favor?” Blaine asks when Mercedes when has returned from her event.

“Sure, what is it?”

Blaine pulls out two sheets of paper and pens, “This Christmas will be the 5th anniversary of Kurt’s death and there’s this thing I do every year. I write him a letter and turn it into a paper boat and float it on the river. It’s... Some kind of a tradition for me. He also did this...”

“For his mother,” Mercedes smiled gently, reminiscing her memories with her best friend. “I remember. He asked if I wanted to join him write a letter and he insisted that I had to write as if she was still alive.”

“When I lived in his house I also sent one with the whole Hudson-Hummel family. Burt and Kurt said it was to keep Elizabeth alive in their hearts.”

Blaine nods. “Would you... Would you like to send him letters too?”

Sam and Mercedes quickly agree and soon they start sniffling into their letters. They want to fold it, but Blaine stops them and puts the letter into envelopes, saying he will fold them later. Blaine reads the letters and feels satisfied that neither mentions Kurt’s death.

“Thank you, guys.”

“Thank _you_ , Blaine,” Mercedes says. “I wish we had done this before. This feels... good. Now I understand why Kurt did that for his mother before.”

Blaine smiles, putting their letters into his bag before pulling out another piece of paper.

“I was looking through Kurt’s stuff the other day,” Blaine starts. “And I found this.”

Mercedes’s eyes are quickly filled with tears as soon as she sees what it is. It is a design of a beautiful emerald dress and the model in the picture is clearly Mercedes. She recognizes Kurt’s neat handwriting at the corner of the paper, _For my goddess. This will look great with gold trophies so wear this to an award! Love, Kurt Hummel._ She silently cries as she holds the paper close to her chest, careful as to not crinkle it.

“Kurt had a lot of designs in his sketchbook. And considering the award season is coming up, I think he would want you to wear this.”

“I do,” she nods. “I’ll give it to my stylist so she can sew it for me.”

“You’d look beautiful wearing this,” Sam says. “And I imagine Kurt would be happy to see you in it.”

Blaine smiles, _He totally will_.

...

Kurt is bored. Blaine left yesterday for Mercedes’s concert and is only coming home tomorrow while Kurt is left in the house with Dr. Howell and Maria who always stay with him every time Blaine needs to be away from home. They’re kind, but they’re not fun to talk to. Carl always brags about his money and Maria always brags about her grandchildren. They also treat Kurt like a porcelain doll as they keep interrupting when Kurt tries to do some things on his own.

So when Blaine’s away, Kurt mostly shuts himself in the studio, painting or designing clothes. He usually designs clothes for Mercedes, but that day he finished two designs: one is of a light green dress for girls and the other is of a blue suit for boys.

At first, he was thinking about Skylar, but when he was in the middle of drawing the first design, his mind created a vision of a little girl with black hair and hazel eyes. After that, he drew a suit after a vision of a little boy with chestnut hair and blue eyes. When the designs are finished, Kurt takes a shaky breath. He flips over to drawings of his and Blaine’s wedding suit, puts his new designs next to it and he finds his heart filled with longing.

He closes his eyes, imagining a picture of him baking a birthday cake with two children, planning to surprise Blaine when he gets home. Then he imagines tending to his flowers with Blaine, laughing at their kids who spray water at each other and later at their parents. All of them would end up wet and dirty and exhausted, but they would laugh together as they recall what has happened during the water war.

Kurt opens his eyes and angrily wipes his tears away, scrunching the paper and throws it into the bin. He catches his reflection in the mirror and glares at it. What is he doing? He should have learned from the accident that life won’t let him be happy. It won’t allow him to get what he wants; his dreams are meant to be broken, not to be fulfilled. That accident took away his legs, his Broadway dream, his family, his friends... And also his future dream of having a family of his own.

The worst thing of all, the accident also took a lot of things from Blaine. Because Kurt was in a coma for a long time and his medication is not cheap, Blaine has to give up his music dream to take parts in Anderson International so he can inherit the family’s money. Kurt can’t be left alone, so Blaine has to stay with him, causing him to lose contact with most of his friends. He also remembers how Blaine dreamt to be a father, but now he can’t because having a child is impossible when his husband needs as much attention as a child. So the accident has torn away not only Kurt’s dreams but also Blaine’s.

Feeling rage start to fill him on the inside, Kurt reaches out to take a lamp, ready to throw it at the stupid mirror in front of him, when he gasps at what he has done. He carefully sets down the lamp, shakily gets his phone and makes a phone call.

He needs Blaine.

...

Sam, Mercedes, Blaine, Stacy, and Skylar go out together to have dinner. Knowing that Blaine is just a friend, she keeps flirting with Blaine even though Sam has told her that Blaine is gay. Blaine is laughing at another lame pickup line Stacy is throwing at him when his phone vibrates. It’s _Kurt_.

He looks up apologetically at the family and goes away to take the call, “Hello? Honey, are you okay?” he frantically asks when he hears Kurt’s sobs, “What’s wrong, Kurt?”

“ _I need you. Please come home._ ”

“O-okay,” Blaine looks up, feeling his heart nearly stops when he sees Sam standing behind him, looking worried. He hopes Sam didn’t hear him saying Kurt’s name before. “I, I’ll be going now. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“ _Can you keep talking to me on the way here? I don’t want to be alone._ ”

“What do you mean alone? Where are Maria and Dr. Howell?”

“ _They’re at the living room._ ”

“I’m going to ask them to accompany you as I go home, okay?”

“ _I don’t want to talk to them!_ ” Kurt snaps. “ _I want to talk to you._ ”

Blaine sighs. Kurt clearly is in a bad mood and there’s no arguing.

“Is everything okay?” Sam asks.

“ _Is that Sam?_ ”

“Yeah, everything’s okay.”

“ _You’re with Sam? Can I talk to him?_ ”

“No, it’s not.”

“ _Who is it then?_ ”

“Just a guy I met at the restaurant.”

“ _You met a guy there_?”

“Yes, I did. I met a lot of people here.”

“ _Does he know you’re married?_ ”

“You’re ridiculous!” Blaine snaps, starting to get panic when Sam opens his mouth to ask another question. Blaine raises a hand to stop him, he doesn’t need Kurt to hear him again. “I’m going now, I need to end this call to call Paul so he can drive me home.”

There’s a silence at the other end of the line and Blaine knows he has done the wrong thing.

“ _If you prefer staying there rather than going home to your crippled husband, just say so._ ”

Blaine hears a crashing sound before Kurt ends the call.

“Fuck,” Blaine curses, calling Carl. “Carl, please check up on... him. Stay with him until I get home, make sure he doesn’t do anything to hurt himself. If the door is locked, there’s a spare key, Maria knows where it is. I’m going home now.”

“Who was it?” Sam frowns. “Blaine, you’re shaking.”

“He- he’s a friend and he needs me. I, I need to be there for him.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now,” he calls his driver as he walks out of the restaurant, “Paul, get the car ready. I have to go home.”

“Blaine, what happened?” Mercedes approaches them.

“He needs to go home,” Sam answers for him.

“What about your things?”

“My assistant will take care of them.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?”

“No, thank you.”

“Seriously, Blaine, what is going...”

“It’s none of your business!” he yells, making Sam and Mercedes jump. Blaine sighs, “Look, guys... I really need to head home now. It’s urgent.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?”

“NO!” Blaine quickly answers. He closes his eyes, trying to calm down, “No, I need to do this alone. You don’t, you don’t need to know.”

Sam notices Blaine is not in the right headspace to talk to them, so he says, “Well will you tell us when you’re home? Just to know that you and your... friend are okay?”

Blaine nods gratefully. When he sees Paul coming, he doesn’t wait for the car to stop. He hurriedly opens the door and gets in, not even looking back at his stunned friends to say goodbye.

“What the hell was that?” Mercedes asks his equally clueless husband who shakes his head. Sam thought he heard Blaine said... No, that's impossible. Maybe he misheard it.

Yeah. Sam must've misheard it. 

...

Blaine runs into the house to find Maria cleaning Kurt’s studio while Carl is sitting next to Kurt’s sleeping form in the bedroom.

“I had to sedate him,” Carl tells him when Blaine enters the room. He nods at Kurt’s face and bandaged hand. “He punched through the mirror. He hurt his cheek and right hand. I gave him a stronger dosage so he would have to stay in bed all day tomorrow.”

Blaine nods wordlessly as he slips into the bed to lay next to his husband. Carl says goodbye and closes the door behind him.

With a sigh, Blaine runs his finger on the bandaid on Kurt’s cheek to Kurt’s red-rimmed eyes to his lips, raw from bitten too much. He then looks down at Kurt's hands, both have been bandaged. Kurt won't be able to do draw or bake, so Blaine knows his husband's mood will be even worse when he wakes up because he won't be able to do much until hisnhands are healed.

Suddenly Kurt is whimpering in his sleep, his eyebrows furrowed and his face twisted as if he's feeling uncomfortable. Blaine hurries to collect Kurt in his arms, whispering sweet nothings and hoping it can calm him down. As if sensing Blaine's presence, Kurt is no longer in distress. He unconsciously nuzzles into Blaine's neck, making Blaine smile at the gesture.

Blaine kisses Kurt's hair as he hugs his husband more tightly. He wonders what has been going on in Kurt’s mind these past few days with all these outbursts lately.

They definitely need a good talk tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that was a close call, Blaine!  
> How is Blaine going to handle this problem? What lies will Blaine tell Kurt this time?


	6. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt is feeling insecure and Blaine is trying to make him stop doubting himself. Will he succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, it's finally here!  
> This is the longest and the hardest chapter that I've written so far. There are so many dialogues and so many things that need to be discussed. I hope I managed to clear some things about their marriage. If there are things that you don't understand, let me know in the comments; hopefully I can clarify it in the future :)

The other side of the bed is empty and cold when Blaine wakes up the next morning. He sits up in alarm, wondering where Kurt has gone, a million negative thoughts wildly running in his head. Then he hears a rustling sound and soft music playing from the kitchen, signaling Kurt must have been cooking there. Sighing in relief, Blaine rubs the sleep out of his eyes before going to the kitchen to see his husband who looks up as soon as he hears Blaine’s footsteps.

“Go back to bed,” Kurt points a spatula at him, “I can’t serve you breakfast in bed if you are not in bed.”

“What are you doing out here? You should’ve stayed in bed,” Blaine retorts, remembering what Carl told him about Kurt’s dosage yesterday. Kurt simply turns his back to him, so Blaine walks closer, putting his hands on Kurt’s shoulders as he leans in to take a sniff. “That does smell good.”

“Lemon blueberry pancakes.”

Kurt expertly flips the pancake and lets it cook on the pan. Blaine notices his hand grabbing the spatula is twitching uncomfortably from time to time.

“Your hands okay?”

Kurt doesn’t look up but Blaine can feel his shoulders stiffen, “Yeah.”

“Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?”

“Can we have breakfast first?”

Finding himself nod, Blaine kisses Kurt’s cheek to thank him for cooking and leaves him to return to their bedroom, but he stops in his track when he sees the door to Kurt’s studio open. Blaine looks over his shoulder and when he sees Kurt is still busy preparing breakfast, he carefully sneaks into the room.

The room has been cleaned. He needs to give a bonus to Maria for dealing with the fallouts of Kurt’s outbursts twice. Probably a few times more in the future if Blaine doesn’t figure out whatever is bothering Kurt’s mind soon. Blaine looks around to catalogue what he needs to replace this time. The full-length mirror that Kurt ordered last year when he started designing for Blaine has been put away, so there is a glaringly empty spot next to the floor plant, and the lamp on the nearby table is also gone.

Blaine is satisfied that Kurt only broke two things last night. He turns to leave but stops when he notices that the bin hasn’t been emptied. Maria probably used a trash bag to clean up yesterday and forgot to check the bin.

What caught his attention, though, is the content. There are some crumpled papers in it, which is weird, because Kurt doesn’t crumple paper; he usually just throws the unused design or drawing into the bin as it is. Curious, Blaine picks it up and flattens it on Kurt’s desk.

His heart stops when he finds that it’s Kurt’s design for their wedding suit.

Holding back his tears, Blaine tries to smooth the paper. He remembers their conversation last night and Kurt probably thought Blaine was cheating on him. A familiar sense of fear that he thought he wouldn’t feel again starts to creep inside him. He has to convince Kurt that he didn’t and will never, ever, cheat on Kurt. He has to make Kurt have faith in him, or else Kurt will shut Blaine out of his life again. Just like what Kurt did _five years ago_. Blaine shudders. He can’t let Kurt slip away this time.

But how? How does Blaine gain Kurt’s trust again?

There are two other balls of paper and even though he’s scared of what he will see, Blaine picks them and peeks into them as well. This time he tilts his head in confusion. The first one is a dress for a little girl; maybe Kurt designed it for Skylar, but the second one is a suit for a boy. Who did Kurt design it for?

He lines up the three drawings on the desk to inspect them, wondering why those beautiful designs ended up in the bin. That’s when he notices it. How the boy has brown hair and blue eyes while the girl has black hair and brown eyes. Lined up with the design of their wedding suit, they look harmonious together, as if they belong to the same collection; a collection for a family... Oh.

Blaine smiles. _He knows how to keep Kurt his_.

* * *

“You’re not in bed,” Kurt says as he wheels himself into the room, with a tray balanced on his knees. Blaine is standing next to his dresser, looking startled as if he has been caught hiding something in the drawer. Kurt narrows his eyes at Blaine, but he doesn’t say anything. He simply puts the tray on the bedside table and tries to wheel around, “Get in bed, I need to get the other tray.”

“Let me...”

“I can do this myself, Blaine,” Kurt says irritatedly.

“Hey,” Blaine stops Kurt and kneels in front of him, trying to look into his eyes. “I never said you couldn’t do it yourself, did I? I just feel bad because you’ve made me breakfast but I haven’t done anything. I just want to help.”

Kurt’s shoulders slump, “Okay. Sorry, I was just...”

“That’s okay,” Blaine cuts him with a kiss. “I’m going to get the other tray now.”

Kurt nods as he maneuvers himself to bed while Blaine has to stop himself from trying to help. Kurt seems to be in his independent mode. This usually happens when Kurt is stressed out about something, so he tends to try to do everything on his own, to get a sense of control. Blaine sighs, wishing his plan will work and Kurt will start seeking to him for help; opening himself up to him again. When Blaine returns to the room, Kurt’s already in bed, watching the TV on the wall.

He is setting up the tray on the other bedside table when Kurt suddenly asks, “Did you cheat on me?” Kurt asks.

Huffing, trying to calm himself down, Blaine sits on the edge of the bed. He is prepared for the question, but it still hurts to hear that Kurt really lost his trust just because of that one call last night.

“Kurt, you know I will never...”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go to Portland alone,” Kurt says, but there is a hint of laughter in his voice that makes Blaine confused. “I knew you would leave me the moment you saw how beautiful she is in person.”

Blaine blinks. He doesn’t understand what Kurt is talking about, but when he takes a glance at the TV, a sense of relief rushes into his body at once. It is some gossip channel, showing footage of Mercedes running into his arms at the hotel. The reporters gush at the dramatic greeting and excitedly jabber among themselves.

“The report said you even went to her room!” Kurt is now laughing out loud, making Blaine smile, admiring how beautiful Kurt looks when he’s happy.

“You seem to be enjoying this too much,” Blaine moves closer to kiss Kurt.

“Hm, maybe I have a kink for cuckolding.”

Blaine snorts, “You’re hilarious.”

“I know. You love me for that,” Kurt grins smugly. “You married me for my sense of humor, after all.”

When Blaine doesn’t reply, Kurt turns his head to Blaine to find his husband is smiling, staring at him lovingly. He instantly closes his eyes when Blaine leans in, pulling him into a deep kiss. Blaine puts one hand on Kurt’s cheek and the other behind Kurt’s neck, pulling him closer, making Kurt tighten his fists around Blaine’s pajama shirt. Kurt whimpers when Blaine gently bites his lower lip before soothing it with his tongue and repeating the action several times before moving down to bite on Kurt’s neck. Kurt smells like lemon blueberry pancakes and he also faintly tastes like lemon and blueberry. Blaine starts to suck on one spot, inhaling the sweet scent of his husband.

“Breakfast,” Kurt gasps, “Blaine, let’s have breakfast first.”

Blaine doesn’t immediately pull away, instead, he pecks Kurt’s lips a few more times before kissing Kurt’s forehead and letting his lips linger there as he breathes Kurt in, trying to calm himself, “I love you,” he says into Kurt’s hairline, “And I married you for everything that you are.”

“I love you, too,” Kurt breathes out before pulling away, “Now, breakfast.”

* * *

Kurt seems to have worked up his appetite, considering he ate nearly as much as Blaine when he normally eats half of what Blaine does. Blaine isn’t complaining, of course, he’s glad to see Kurt seem to be healthier and happier today. However, he’s not glad that Kurt insists on washing the dishes, even after Blaine argues that since Kurt cooked, he shouldn’t be the one dealing with the dirty plates.

“But you brought the other tray, so we’re even. Now let me do the dishes,” Kurt stubbornly says, stacking up the plates onto the tray.

“What?” Blaine laughs at Kurt’s absurd opinion, pulling Kurt’s hand to make him stay in bed. “You can’t seriously compare cooking a whole meal to bringing a tray. We’re not even.”

“Well cooking is as tiring as bringing a tray for me, so we’re even.”

“See, you said it yourself. You’re tired,” Blaine kissed Kurt’s nose, not noticing Kurt’s irritation. “Now get some rest and I’ll do the dishes.”

“I’ve eaten so I’m not tired anymore. _You_ get some rest and I’ll do the dishes.”

“Well you cooked and you brought the first tray, so you’ve done two things and I’ve only done one. Because we’re not even, I’ll do the dishes.”

“Damn it, Blaine, just let me do the dishes!” Kurt yelled, pushing Blaine away.

Blaine gasps, taken aback. They argue over household chores a lot, but those arguments are more like playful banters and they usually end up doing something together so Blaine really enjoys those moments. But Kurt is taking it seriously this time. And this is also the first time Kurt ever uses force on him. Granted, due to his illness, Kurt is a lot weaker than Blaine, so it didn’t affect Blaine whatsoever, but it still shocked him. Even though he’s not hurt physically, he still feels like Kurt has just stabbed his heart with a knife. Repeatedly.

Not noticing Blaine’s shock, Kurt angrily takes the tray but it slips out of his unstable hands, sending it and everything on it to the floor. The sound of plates crashing brings Blaine back to reality, he moves to clean the floor, but Kurt holds him back.

“Stop.”

“What...”

“Stay right there. I’ll clean it.”

“Kurt...”

“Please,” Kurt pleads in a small voice. His shoulders start to shake and his breath starts to hitch, “Please let me do this, Blaine.”

Not knowing what to do, Blaine helplessly watches his husband crying in front of him, his whole body racked by sobs. Still crying, Kurt tries to get his wheelchair and puts himself in it before wheeling out of the room, the shards crunching under the wheels. However, Kurt stops in his track right at the doorway, burying his face into his hands.

“Kurt...?”

“...stupid...”

“Hm?”

“The stupid shards are stuck to my wheels!” Kurt wails. “If I keep moving, I’ll spread them all over the house and I’ll have to clean not just the bedroom but the whole house!”

If Blaine wasn’t so shaken by what had happened, he would chuckle at Kurt’s adorableness. Instead, Blaine wears his slippers and comes up near Kurt. Carefully, he walks around Kurt and kneels in front of his husband who instantly winds his arms around Blaine’s neck, pulling Blaine into a hug so he can cry into his neck.

“I’m sorry, Blaine... I’m so sorry...”

Blaine hugs Kurt back, his hands rubbing Kurt’s back up and down, “Ssh, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry...”

Kurt keeps apologizing while Blaine keeps telling him that it’s okay. After a while, Kurt’s rambling apology starts to dwindle, and soon after his breath evens out as he falls asleep. Blaine stays in the position for a few minutes, not wanting to move in case he wakes Kurt up. When Blaine is sure Kurt is deeply asleep, he carefully pulls away and carries Kurt’s body to the bed. Blaine drops a kiss on Kurt’s forehead, frowning when he sees he has made Kurt’s forehead wet. He brings up a hand to touch his face, realizing that he’s been silently crying the whole time.

Those are tears of helplessness, fear, and every negative emotion in him combined into one. He’s worried that everything he has built for their lives so far would crumble to pieces. Burying his fingers in Kurt’s soft hair, he frowns as he watches Kurt’s sleeping face. Even in his sleep, he looks so exhausted. He hopes he can fix whatever Kurt’s problem is soon, or else he would have to do what he did five years ago...

 _No_. Blaine shakes his head. He won’t have to do _that_ again. He can fix this. He can make Kurt happy. He can keep Kurt as his.

* * *

Blaine doesn’t realize that he has fallen asleep. When Blaine opens his eyes for the second time that day, he is met with the most beautiful pair of cerulean eyes staring right into him. He can’t help but smile, welcoming a kiss that his husband gives as soon as he’s awake.

“What time is it?” Blaine stretches, listening to his joints crack in protest.

“1 pm.”

“What?” Blaine sits up, shocked to see that he was asleep for 3 hours. “How long have you been awake?”

“Like an hour ago?”

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Kurt shrugs.

“I have to pee,” Kurt says instead.

Blaine is about to ask why Kurt hasn’t gone to the bathroom by himself when he’s been trying to do everything on his own, as his eyes fall to the wheelchair in front of the closed door. Blaine gets up and carries Kurt to the bathroom to relieve themselves. Instead of carrying Kurt to the wheelchair, Blaine brings him back to bed.

“Blaine, I have to cook for lunch,” Kurt protests.

“Lunch can wait. I’m not hungry anyway.”

“I am hungry.”

“And you are lying.”

“I’m not!”

“You are. You always make your hands into fists when you lie.” Kurt gapes, unclenching his hands. Blaine winks, grinning, “I’ve known you for a decade, we started dating months after we met, and we’ve been married for three years. I think I’ve pretty much figured you out, babe.”

Kurt just pouts in defeat, so Blaine takes his chin, forcing them to have eye contact, “So, let’s have the talk.”

“My dad had given me the talk when I was 16. And I don’t think you need to give me another one. We’ve had an active sex life for years, so I don’t need it.”

Blaine laughs, “Stop deflecting, Kurt.”

Kurt changes his tactic, flirtatiously putting his hand on Blaine’s crotch, “Or maybe I do, and you can show me, step-by-step, how sex is supposed to be for gay men.”

“We can have sex as many times as you want after the talk,” it takes a lot of power, but Blaine manages to pull Kurt’s hand off of him.

Kurt doesn’t give up. He points at the floor which is still covered with shards, “The floor hasn’t been cleaned!”

“You can clean it after we talk.”

“I don’t want to clean it,” Kurt looks away and crosses his arms petulantly, looking like an eight-year-old who has been told to clean after his mess.

“Fine,” Blaine chuckles in amusement. “I’ll call Maria to do it. Now can we please talk about what happened yesterday?””

Kurt avoids Blaine’s eyes, plucking at the comforter like he always does when he tries to stall something. After several minutes pass without him saying anything or even looking back at Blaine, Blaine kisses Kurt on the lips, startling his husband who finally looks up.

“Fine, I’ll go first. The guy that I met at the restaurant was looking for a job, and he recognized me because he has gone to an interview at Anderson International before, but he got rejected. So he tried to talk to me, trying to score another job interview, and then you called,” Blaine smoothly tells Kurt the lie that he has made up beforehand. “So, I didn’t cheat on you, and you know that I will never, ever cheat on you.”

“You don’t know that,” Kurt mumbles.

“Have I given any reasons for you not to believe me?”

Kurt shakes his head.

“So, believe me. One of the promises I made when I married you was to be loyal to you, no matter what, and I plan to stand by that promise.”

“Promises can be broken.”

“Have I broken my promise to you?”

Kurt stills but then he shakes his head. Blaine smiles in satisfaction.

“That’s my side of the story. Do you have any questions?”

Kurt shakes his head again.

“Are you sure?” Kurt nods, making Blaine nod as well. “Good. Now, your turn.”

Kurt sighs, “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“Have I ever called you or what you do stupid?”

“You did call me ridiculous last night.”

Blaine’s heart clenches painfully when he sees the hurt in Kurt’s expression. To anyone, that word may not sound insulting, but to Kurt, whose only constant companion is Blaine, the word means everything to him.

“I’m sorry, I was tired and the guy annoyed me. I shouldn’t have let my frustration out on you.”

Interestingly, that made Kurt brighten a bit, “Oh. That’s okay, then. I’ve lost count on how many times you’ve become my emotional punching bag.”

Blaine is surprised. He tries to detect sarcasm in Kurt’s face, but his expression seems very sincere.

“But it made you upset.”

“It did, but you apologized so I forgave you,” Kurt shrugs easily before smiling in excitement, “You know, that was the first time you ever had to apologize to me.”

“What are you talking about? I’ve apologized many times.”

“I meant that was your first big mistake to me...” Kurt tries to explain, but Blaine still can’t figure out what is in Kurt’s mind. “And I like it.”

“You... like that I made a mistake?” Blaine asks slowly, confused.

Kurt nods, “I like that I’m not the only one who keeps messing up in this relationship.”

“What do you mean? You never mess up anything.”

“Our living room and my studio won’t agree,” Kurt nods at the floor, “And our bedroom, too.”

“That one was an accident. As for the living room and the studio, you weren’t feeling well this week so...”

“Stop trying to normalize my mistakes, Blaine,” Kurt cuts, but not unkindly. “I messed up and that’s that.”

“Well,” Blaine shrugs in defeat, “As you said, you apologized and I forgave you.”

Kurt sighs, frustrated. “Why do you forgive me so easily? You know, if the tables were turned..., if you were the one that destroyed our living room, I would never forgive you. Or maybe I would, but I’d make you grovel at my feet first.”

Blaine frowns, confused, “So that’s what’s been making you upset? That I forgive you too easily? You... want me to make you grovel at my feet?” he asks teasingly.

“No,” Kurt half-laughs, half-groans. “I don’t know how to explain this... I feel so stupid.”

“Kurt,” Blaine touches Kurt’s hand, happy to see Kurt’s posture relaxes, “I swear I would never consider you stupid. So, just say what you want to say, okay? It hurts me to see you hurt, so I want to help. But to help you, I need to understand first.”

Kurt nods and takes a deep breath.

“Okay. So, yesterday, I was drawing...” Kurt stops himself, his shoulders start to tense again, “Um, drawing. And... I don’t know. I felt my drawing was stupid. I called you so I could feel better, and then you said that I was ridiculous and ended the call. It made me feel even more stupid than before...”

Blaine takes Kurt’s clenched hands and kisses them, “You’re lying.”

“Fine. I am. And I don’t want to tell you the truth,” Kurt glares, snatching his hands away and then pulling the blanket to cover his head.

“Kurt, please talk to me...”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Can you even breathe in there?”

Kurt adjusts the blanket so he can breathe through a hole, “I can now.”

Blaine holds back a laugh at the view. He admires Kurt’s determination, but Kurt can be overly stubborn sometimes. He gets up and opens his chest drawer, taking out Kurt’s thrown designs. Then he sits behind Kurt, gently pulling at the blanket. He’s stronger than Kurt, so he actually can uncover his husband easily, but he prefers not to make Kurt angrier when he’s trying to have a serious conversation.

“Kurt, please look at me.”

“No.”

“I have something to say.”

“Just say it, then. I’m listening with my ears, so I don’t have to look at you.”

“Fine,” he sighs in defeat. He can never win against Kurt. “I was in your studio this morning, checking what we need to replace in there,” Blaine notices Kurt’s body under the blanket stiffen, but he continues, “Then I saw the trash bin hadn’t been cleaned and I found these designs...”

“You have no right!” Kurt suddenly throws the blanket, sitting up, “Why did you go through my stuff? I know that we’re husbands, but we still need privacy from each other. Have you been going through my phone, too?”

Blaine has, but he’s not going to admit that. He says, “I told you, these were in the trash bin...”

“Why did you go through the garbage?”

“Why are you so worked up on this?”

“I told you, those designs are stupid!” Kurt screams. “That’s why I threw them away! And here you are, taking them and shoving them to my face, making me feel even more stupid.”

“Stop calling your designs and yourself stupid,” Blaine says patiently. “And one of them is our wedding suit, Kurt. Do you think it’s stupid, too?”

“No, our wedding suit was beautiful. But the drawing _is_ stupid.”

“Stop saying stupid. You keep saying that.”

“Well, I say it because it is stupid! If it wasn’t stupid, I wouldn’t call it stupid. And don’t tell me what I can or can’t say. That’s... stupid.”

Blaine can’t help but let out a chuckle, “Is stupid your favorite word now?”

“It’s not funny!”

“It kind of is.”

“It’s not! It’s...”

“Stupid,” Blaine finishes with a smug smirk, making Kurt glare but the corners of his mouth twitch as if holding back his laughter. But Kurt manages to control his expression and huffs. He pulls the blanket, but Blaine stops him.

“I mean it, Kurt. Those designs are beautiful.”

“Your taste is awful.”

“Ouch,” Blaine exaggeratingly puts a hand over his chest, making Kurt giggle, “And you’re a dork.”

Blaine smiles at the sound of Kurt’s laugh. He takes Kurt’s hand and puts the designs between them.

“Who the designs are for, Kurt?”

Kurt looks away, his bright mood evaporates quickly, “No one.”

“Are these for... Our children?”

“We don’t have children,” Kurt says in a shaky voice.

“I mean, future children,” Blaine watches Kurt’s face closely, trying to detect if he’s saying the right thing, “I remember when we were still in New York we talked about kids all the time. Do you still want to have children with me, Kurt?”

“Ye...” Kurt whispers before clearing his throat and speaking more loudly, “No. We can’t have kids.”

“Why not?” Blaine frowns in confusion.

“Look at me, Blaine. You seriously can’t think I’m capable to be a parent!” Kurt snaps. “I need help even with the smallest things. How can I care for a child when I can’t even take care of myself?”

“Baby...”

“See, you’re even calling me a baby. There’s already one baby in this relationship, so we can’t have another one!”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But it’s true,” Kurt says with a defeated tone in his voice. “I can’t take care of a baby, Blaine, it would be too exhausting for me. And there’s no way I’m going to make you take care of a baby too when you already have me and your job to deal with.”

“But isn’t that what being parents is about? We’ll raise our child _together_.”

“You don’t get it!” Blaine is taken aback when Kurt starts to cry, “I need to rest for so many hours, what happens if the baby wakes up at night? What happens if I’m too sick and I can’t do anything for our baby? What happens when they grow up and they need someone to teach them to walk? What happens when years later they want to go outside and I can’t go with them? You will be the one who does every hard job, Blaine. Not to mention if I get sick then you’ll have to take care of me too.” Blaine tries to protest, but Kurt cuts him before he manages it. “I can’t possibly ask you to do more sacrifice for my happiness, Blaine... I can’t.”

As Kurt sobs into his hands, Blaine gathers him into his arms.

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?” he feels Kurt nods against his chest. “Why do you keep hiding things from me, Kurt? I told you, you should’ve come to me when you need to talk to someone.”

“Because I told you, it’s stupid,” Kurt’s reply is muffled by Blaine’s shirt. “I’ve made peace with the fact that I can’t have kids, but yesterday I suddenly drew those stupid designs and it reminded me again that I can’t have everything that I want.”

Kurt adjusts himself so he can hook his chin over Blaine’s shoulder to breathe easier, “But then I also got reminded that you can’t have it, too. We always talked about moving to suburbs, having kids, and adopting a cat or a dog...”

Blaine smiles at that memory and when Kurt pulls away, he sees that Kurt is smiling as well, albeit sadly. His smile is completely gone as he sighs, “But now you can’t have any of that, because you’re stuck with me. And I hate that. I hate that the accident didn’t only take away my dreams, but it took away yours, too. I hate that you have to sacrifice a lot of things just to be with me.”

Watching Kurt so defeated makes Blaine miserable as well. He understands where Kurt is coming from; if the tables were turned, Blaine would also feel insecure, too. But he thought Kurt had stopped doubting himself since the day they got married. They had a similar talk when Blaine proposed and Blaine thought he had successfully convinced Kurt that he was the one and only for Blaine. Clearly, he has forgotten about it, so Blaine simply has to remind him.

Blaine gently takes Kurt’s hands in one hand and uses his other hand to wipe away Kurt’s tears, “See, this is where you’re wrong, Kurt. There’s nothing that I sacrificed to be with you. Did I sacrifice the world to be with you? No. Because _you_ are my world. You are my everything, Kurt. Yes, I might have it easier if I were with someone else. But I don’t want easy. I want you. So stop feeling that you are a burden, because you are not. I love being with you, I love taking care of you. I. Love. You. Kurt.” Blaine punctuates his words with kisses on Kurt’s wedding ring before gently rubbing his thumb on it, “When you said yes the day I proposed to you, you made me the happiest man in the world. And now, being married to you, calling you my husband, it makes me happy. You make me the happiest man in the world, Kurt. And I don’t need anything else because I have you.”

“You are so cheesy!” Kurt laughs wetly, making Blaine laugh with him. Kurt is still smiling but he’s starting to chew his lower lip, “But what about things that you wanted? Like kids...”

“Listen,” Blaine cuts Kurt. “I said that I wanted to have kids because I imagined having kids with you. I don’t want kids with someone else. It’s like... Kids are cronuts and you’re water. Having cronuts would be nice, it would be great, really,” Kurt chuckles when Blaine starts to drool. Blaine grins at the beautiful voice, “But I wouldn’t be able to live without water. I wouldn’t be able to live without _you_.”

Tears are forming again in Kurt’s eyes, but from his beaming smile, Blaine can tell that those are happy tears.

“Oh my God, I married the biggest sap in the world,” he says while wiping away his tears.

Blaine gently pushes Kurt’s hands away to replace them with his own, gently caressing Kurt’s damp cheeks while staring into his eyes, “So stop doubting yourself, okay? Stop thinking that we’re not equals in this marriage because we are. Stop thinking that I’ve sacrificed a lot of things to be with you because I haven’t. Stop thinking that I get the short end of the stick, because I don’t. I get a long one,” Blaine glances at Kurt’s crotch, winking.

Kurt playfully smacks Blaine’s chest, blushing and laughing at the same time, “You’re ridiculous!”

“I know. You love me for that. You married me for the ridiculous things I say, after all,” Blaine says, repeating Kurt’s words this morning, which Kurt notices as well.

Kurt smiles, “I love you. And I married you for everything that you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Kurt and Blaine in New York five years ago?  
> Didn't Kurt's accident that almost took his life also happen five years ago?  
> Hmmm...


End file.
